Chapter 43: The Decision to Forget Him

Nine months had passed and there was still no sign of Elias. I had searched all the places I could. He was gone, completely gone, not even leaving a trace. I even thought about the worst possibility of him being dead. I would feel better if he was dead. At least I could grieve for him, recall him, and tell the baby that its father had not abandoned it. But what had he done? Did he really think he was an immortal who came down to earth to experience the tribulation and could retire after that without even asking? I really hated him. My parents prepared a full table of dishes. I looked at the delicious meal on the table and tears instantly poured down my face. I hugged my mom and cried so hard that I let out all the aggression, sadness, and helplessness I had felt for the past eight months. I was no longer the tough businesswoman nor was I a powerful leader, I was just a helpless woman. "Yvette told me that Elias had disappeared. What did she mean by that?" My father asked me this after I had cried enough and had had dinner. I told him exactly what had happened. "You mean that Elias just left home and then disappeared after he had a fight with you?" I nodded. "It shouldn't be. How could a man get such a bad temper? Your mother and I used to fight a lot back then, but we always made up and I was the one who apologized every time." "What do you mean by that? What do you mean you were the one who apologized every time?" My mother complained. "Don't interrupt. What I mean is, as far as I know, a man can't be that narrow-minded. Elias could not have been angry for so long. Would he have been in trouble?" "What are you talking about?" My mom hastily stopped him. "Jackie, does he have parents and family? Can you get in touch with them?" I shook my head in frustration, "Dad, Mom, I've thought of everything but he's really gone." My parents sighed in unison. Then my mom put her arm around me, "Don't be afraid, we're here." I used to think I was invincible, but now I realized that I was actually vulnerable and I was just pretending to be strong. My due date was approaching and I stopped going to the office because it was inconvenient for me with a big belly. This day, I was watching TV at home and Ian came to visit me with bags full of stuff. To be honest, it had been more or less because of him that Elias had disappeared, so I had given him the deep freeze during that period of time. Only after Silvan was arrested did I learn that the person who had been arranged to spy on Silvan at the headquarters was Ian's good friend. Ian had long known that I wanted to take Silvan down, so he fawned over Silvan while secretly planning to do so. No wonder it was so easy for me to take down Silvan. A few months ago, Cheryl had come to me and told me the truth about what had happened back then. It turned out that what Ian had said was true. He had had no choice but to be with Cheryl for me. I only sighed after listening to it. Perhaps I could never get real love in my life, so I could not make my first love or my beloved husband stay. "What brings you here?" I gestured casually to the sofa, "Have a seat. I'm very clumsy now, so you can get yourself some water." Since we had talked things out, our relation was no longer as tense as before, but we were somewhat like old friends. "And you? What do you want to drink?" He rolled up his sleeves to make tea. "I would like a glass of lemonade." "Okay." "Where are Uncle and Auntie?" Ian looked around and was quite pleased to see the place cleaned up, "It's good that the house is kept tidy." Before my parents had come to take care of me, Ian would have found various excuses to come and help me with cleaning, cooking, and washing dishes. He even accompanied me on walks. I remember one time, he was taking a walk with me as I was eight months pregnant, when we met a couple who were playing with their kid. The child pointed to my stomach and said, "Mom, look, auntie has a baby in her belly." He was about to go up and touch my belly when Ian stopped him, squatted down, and said to him patiently, "The baby is sleeping inside. Let's not disturb it, okay?" After that, we inexplicably took a walk with this family. They mistook Ian for my husband and asked him a lot of questions. Ian knew everything from the due date to the time of delivery even better than I did. After hearing this, the wife nudged her husband's arm with her elbow, "Look at him and look at yourself." "Hey, what's the matter with me? When you were in labor, I was anxious like an ant on a hot pot too." "Really? How come I didn't know that?" "You were so exhausted that you couldn't see it." The two of them joked with each other, but I was too saddened to listen to them or continue the walk. Ian sensed my low mood, said goodbye to the couple, and took me home. "Don't get it wrong, they were just..." "It's okay." I shook my head, "You have also been busy all day. Go back and rest." "I'll leave when you're asleep." "I'm an adult and I can take care of myself." I was in a slightly irritable mood. Ian saw that I was in a bad mood and didn't want to argue with me further, so he nodded and left obediently. But after an hour, I suddenly remembered that I hadn't taken a delivery and opened the door, only to find him standing fixedly at the door. At that moment, I felt extremely complicated. He smiled a little awkwardly, "Why do you come out?" I almost couldn't keep my emotions in check, "Why haven't you left yet?" "I have nothing to do anyway. Besides, you're a pregnant. What if something urgent happens and you can't get someone to help you?" "The weather is cool. Come on in." Ian nodded and walked in. "Make yourself at home. I'm going to bed." I was about to go when I heard Ian's voice, "Jacqueline, I'd like to take care of you and the baby if you agree." I froze, then turned back and said, "No, thanks." He stepped forward, "Why not? You're still thinking about Elias, who's been missing for so long..." "I don't want to bring up the subject. I'm tired and I'm going to sleep." After that day, Ian never brought it up again and we spent time with each other like old friends. "My parents went to the market for groceries, and they insisted that the goods at the market are fresh." "I can see that you look much better since your parents came." I joked, "You don't have to be so euphemistic, just say I've gained weight." "No, you look as beautiful as ever in my eyes." I coughed lightly, "My parents may not be back so soon. I'm going to have a rest, so make yourself at home." "Okay." I didn't know how long I had slept. When I woke up, I found that my dress was all wet. I immediately realized that my water had broken.