CHAPTER FORTY

Rohan's pov "I want you but there are so many factors delaying us" I told her. "Thank you" she smiled again. I didn't know what the hell I was doing but if I tell Ben that a girl offered me to go home with her and I declined, he was going to get me checked for rabies. He would be mortified at my choices. I liked Avilla and I wanted to be with her but I still had doubts because she was human and it was obvious that she thought we were going to be in a relationship but that wasn't how werewolves act with their mates. In her case then, I wanted to be slow with her because I still had reservations and I didn't know how to approach how about the supernatural world, I didn't want to scare off before I got a chance to know her and so far, I loved being with her and I didn't to want to ruin it. Taking my time with her is like building a memory that I wanted to last, if I tell her about the real me and she freaks out then I would lose her. I wanted to have memories of her still fresh in my mind when all that happens. I knew she was a strong person but there are some things that the humans couldn't comprehend. She was asking me if there was something wrong, how can I tell her that I transform into an animal and hunt for preys or that I can hear a conversation within a mile away because I have super sensitive ears. That I run really fast and I am extremely strong. She would freak out on me and probably never talk to me again. And it might ruin her relationship with Camille and knowing my sister, she would hate my guts for s very long time for chasing away the only girl she has had a real connection to. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want her feeling bad that I didn't want her enough to push further but if only she could understand then it would be nice. It would make the whole thing easier for me. "So what are your plans for tomorrow?" She asked me. She really loved asking questions and asking interesting questions. Tomorrow was a full moon and the whole pack is to remain indoors because that is when everything is at their peak. The alpha has ordered us to stay indoors so we could run as a pack, he wanted to address us at the same time. I could feel the anger in his voice when he mind linked everyone. I think my father has done something to annoy him again. Ever since he found out that alpha Dickson ripped off the pages of that book, he has made it his mission to uncover everything he planned on doing with the book. I think somehow my dad has missed some action in the field and wanted a new pet project for himself and who better to investigate the alpha than the only person who hated him. "Nothing much" I answered casually. "I was thinking of going to see a movie, I already asked Camilla and she said she is busy tomorrow, any chance you are free?" She asked me. "Not entirely, I am helping my parents out with some stuff for tomorrow" I said quickly. I winced when it came out rush, now she was going to think I was lying to her. "Oh okay, that's weird" she said. "What's weird?" I asked. "Camilla said the same thing except she was so cagey just like you are right now, what's going on?" She asked frowning deeply. I didn't know what to say right now, I should have used some other excuse to cover up my ass, now she thought I was lying and didn't want to spend time with her. I liked sending time with her, she was sweet, funny and interesting. She couldn't ever make you bored in a conversation. She was everything you ever looked for in a female companion except her being human anyways. "We are having a family day so that is why she said it, it's kind of something we are ashamed of. Two grown adults still having family day with their parents? I asked her. She nodded her head like she understood, I am digging deeper holes for myself. Why can't I trust her enough to tell her the truth? I asked myself. It was very difficult for me not to reveal myself to her, it wasn't just because I wanted I didn't want to lose her but also because I kept on looking for better options. I still can't believe I am stuck with human. After what my dad told me about converting her, it still wasn't enough to convince me. I didn't want a human turned wolf. I wanted a pure blood who would carry strong pups. She was some frail human who would run at the slightest sight of danger. I didn't want to believe that she would do the opposite of what I believe, she might be cool but it takes special powers to make a human trust you after you reveal your nature to them. My mother freaked out and didn't talk to my father for a while after he revealed himself to her, it made him suffer a lot and lose a lot of weight but at the end, they settled. What if I never settle with Avilla and I am forced to be alone for the rest of my life? Or she gets so scared that she leaves the town, she could even threaten to expose us to the town's people. These are some of the options I consider every day and it scares me. I don't want to be punished or turned into a rogue because I didn't follow the rules all because I found my mate and she is HUMAN!