CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

Avilla's pov Camilla paused as she was eating her ice cream to look up at me. "Why would you say that?" she asked. "I don't know, I think the reason why he is delaying the process is because he still wishes that I am a wolf" "You are a wolf" Camilla reminded me. "You know what I mean" I rolled my eyes at her. "Avilla, I don't know what you guys do behind closed doors but I know that my brother loves spending his time with you and it's all he talks about every single time" she said gently. "Really?" I asked her. "Yes" "Then why does this thoughts keep circling in my head?" I asked. "I don't know, maybe your own doubts" she stated. I nodded but I still didn't think I had doubts on Rohan, I was ready to move on to the new stage but it appears that be isn't. I know for certain that I was ready to complete the mating process but it seems we had something obstructing us. I had secrets of my own too and I was waiting for the right time to tell Rohan but I wanted him to come clean and tell me his. I am not telling him that I got my wolf after we met but I didn't want it to be the reason that he gets closer to me. He rejected me in the first place because I was human and telling him that I wasn't was not the best move for me to take. He apologized when he realized he was Rude still thinking I was human, I think it is best to let him love me despite thinking I am human. It is the only way to intensify our bond. I know he wasn't the romantic type but I think I can live with it. Ben has been wonderful to me, he has been a good company to me. He seemed to be content with just hanging out with me. I know Rohan wasn't okay with that but it wasn't going to stop me from spending time with Ben who by the way is the only guy that treats me well, even better than my own mate. Rohan hates that Ben is affectionate with me, every time he sees me, he greets me with a bear hug. I like it. I didn't have to struggle to get affection from Ben as I did with my own mate. I don't think Ben knew Rohan and I were involved, even if he did know, he clearly didn't want to say anything to me about it. He was okay with the fact that I was still friends with him and we were cool hanging out together. And frankly, so was I. I think I sighed out loud for the fifteenth time because Camilla asked me what the matter was. "You good? You keep sighing to yourself" she asked. "Yeah just thinking about the situation between Rohan and me" I told her. Sometimes it worried me to talk to her about everything, I always felt like one day she was going to pick sides and end up hurting me. I understand that Rohan is her brother and the sides already exists but it will still hurt though to hear her say it. "You need to stop thinking and just roll with it" she advised. Easy for her to say, she was in the same position Rohan was and she still chose the right thing and has already mapped out a plan to reveal the secret to Mitchell. I didn't want Rohan to copy them but I think he should at least try to tell me about it. I felt like he still thought he could do better than a human and was still holding out on me till someone better comes along. Maybe he was doing this because his wolf is forcing him to. if that was the case then I would be extremely hurt and pained if that is what he is waiting for, why bother with me? He could have continued with the rejection and waited for someone better to come along. Maybe I am overthinking this, I should just relax and chill out before I take my thoughts far away to an unknown place. My wolf is still skeptical about him and I should agree with her but I was too weak to deny those gray eyes when they are fixated on me, watching my every move. His eyes always make me want to do things to him that would make my dear mother turn in her grave, with him? All my thoughts are far from innocent. I have never wanted anybody as much as I want Rohan. Well, he is the first guy I have been sexually attracted to. "Let's go, I need to walk this ice cream off my system, I have taken way too much" I suggested to Camilla. "You don't have to worry, it will go down before you know It." she said. "I know but I just want to go for a walk" I told her. She gave me a look but agreed anyways. We paid for the treat and headed out, we walked side by side. She was on the phone clearly engrossed in whoever of whatever that was on there. I was still in my thoughts and this time it was about my life here. I still feel like I haven't started living yet, I haven't had the chance to do things that I love, painting is something that I can't stop doing but the rest like hiking, picnics and others fun filled activities I always said I would try when I get the chance. but I haven't because I don't have time, my life since I got here has been centered around Rohan and Camilla. Not that I don't enjoy having them around but if something goes wrong then I will be all alone again. I was interrupted in my thoughts when Camilla uttered the same name I warned Rohan not to mention anymore. "Sophie?"