Chapter 229: Have I Utterly Disappointed You?

Martina didn't know what to say and chose to act as if she hadn't heard anything at all. However, Benjamin persisted and asked once again, "Martina, I'm talking to you. Do you really not want to discuss our future with me? Have I utterly disappointed you?" To be honest, Benjamin rarely treated anyone, including Martina, with such sincere and heartwrenching eyes. Caught off guard, Martina couldn't help but feel somewhat uncomfortable. She had thought she could firmly speak her mind, but when met with Benjamin's gaze, she found herself hesitating once again. It might have been due to reluctance, emotional persuasion, or other reasons. But regardless of the cause, she realized that her inner thoughts were genuine, and she couldn't bring herself to say them in front of this man. This realization left Martina feeling frustrated. It was as if all the words she had spoken before about leaving Benjamin were just a ruse. She couldn't believe she was struggling with this. If anyone found out, they would surely mock her mercilessly. "Benjamin, maybe you should stand up to talk. I really don't know where to begin with you in this state," Martina requested. Perhaps sensing Martina's nervousness or feeling that the emotions had settled, Benjamin didn't press her further. Instead, he nodded and stood up, his tall figure once again coming into Martina's view. Martina deliberately forced herself not to meet Benjamin's gaze because she knew she would find it hard to hold back. Instead, she calmly expressed her genuine thoughts and emotions. "To be honest," she said, "I really liked you before, liked you to the extent that I was willing to give up everything for you, even my own dignity and self-respect." In a first, Martina openly admitted her true feelings in front of Benjamin, who, recognizing her genuine sincerity, listened without interruption. His gaze remained fixed on Martina, showing no sign of wanting to leave. Perhaps this alone indicated his transformation. Martina took a deep breath and continued, "I used to think this kind of affection could last a long time, even a lifetime. But then I realized that my inner feelings had changed. I can't love you as purely as before, and the devotion I was willing to give, even at the cost of everything, has gradually faded." Although these words might not sound pleasant, they were the truth. Since Martina had decided to be candid, there was no need to tell lies. She would just speak her mind. It was as if Benjamin could hear the sound of his own heart shattering, even though he had sensed the fracture long before. However, now that he listened to Martina confess her regrets and reveal the depth of her transformation, the agony of heartbreak welled up within him, drowning his emotions in a sea of sorrow. Martina pursed her lips and then said, "Even if I had to give up myself for you, it wouldn't matter. I've undergone a change that I can't fix. I used to think that loving someone meant a lifetime commitment, but now I realize that a lifetime is really long. I could genuinely care for you, but I could also genuinely dislike you." Martina's eyes kept changing, as if tearing a deep crack in her heart every time, but then she had to force herself to heal. She continued, "Because what you offered me before was completely unequal. I didn't like that kind of life. I want to live with dignity, to stay true to myself. I don't want my name to be tied to someone else's. I want others to recognize me just because I am me. Not as someone's girlfriend or someone's wife. I hope people will remember my name simply because I am Martina Martinez." After saying these words, Martina seemed to have drained all her strength, and her eyes turned red. She had truly believed she could handle things, but when the moment actually arrived, she realized that her heart still ached. At that instant, a single, clear tear fell onto the back of Benjamin's hand without warning, its coldness contrasting with its burning sensation, as if it could scorch his hand. At that moment, Benjamin finally understood how much Martina had been suppressing in her heart. So, was Martina's determination to choose to let go only because of her previous unfair treatment? No, it couldn't be just that. It should be said that his many unfair treatments in the past made Martina gradually disappointed and fearful. And so many times, he hadn't cared about her true needs and thoughts, which led her to distance herself step by step, ultimately reaching an irreparable point. Benjamin's large hand curled slightly. It was only at this moment that he truly understood Martina's inner turmoil and realized how much of a mess he had been in the past. "Sorry..." Apart from this, Benjamin didn't know what else he could say. Some things might be too easy to say, and they wouldn't be able to truly express the situation. Martina waved her hand casually, even though she was the one hurt, and now she wanted to pretend, as much as possible, that everything was fine. "It's okay," she said. "It's all in the past. The fact that I can say this to you today means that I've already let it go in my heart." "Let it go?" Benjamin's pupils contracted once again. To be honest, he didn't want to hear this at all. What did "let it go" mean? Did he really have no chance at all? Benjamin's inner turmoil was intense, but he also knew that at this moment, no matter what he said, it would be in vain. Talking more wouldn't be as effective as taking an action within his capacity. Perhaps this could leave a more favorable impression on Martina. Recalling how he had been consumed by work every day and completely neglected Martina's feelings, maybe this was the real "what goes around, comes around." No one should expect an easy way out of this cycle. ... Benjamin had long made up his mind that even if Martina had truly left behind all their past emotions, he would never give up so easily.