10- Disgust

10- Disgust 'How beautiful his touch felt for the first time and now, it only disgusts me." ****** With my back against the bed frame, ignoring the pain in my foot which began to bleed again, I remained motionless. I embraced my exposed body, covering it with the sheets and sobbing. Tears rolling down, crying as he was wearing his clothes and I was quivering in apprehension. 'Stop crying." He ordered strictly, only in his trouser, frowning at my sound of cries. 'I hate you." I hissed, wrapping my hands around my knees firmly to refrain his licentious eyes to follow before he devoured me to the bone. 'You should, I want you to." With a heartless response, he wore his shirt as well, turning away. For a second, everything stopped when his back faced me. My bodily functions shut down as well too but this lull-providing second couldn't last longer than a mere heartbeat and he glanced over his shoulder. When my frightened orbs linked with his mischievous ones, I knew he would do something to shatter me more than he already did. 'You noticed the difference, Eileen? I did exactly what I did when we consummated our bond but it feels entirely different, isn't it?" He began to say in a raspy tone. I wanted to neglect it but they were true. How things stumbled was beyond my comprehension. Everything slipped before I could grasp tiny remains of affection he showed. With a tear of defeat, my voice was stuck in my throat as he approached me like a predator, wallowing in my condition. A hunter toying with his prey. 'I was just as gentle yet…" Speaking temptingly, he placed his hands on the frame, curling his lips sinfully from one side. 'Look at you, sobbing, sorrowful, disheartened.… Tch, tch, tch." Faking compassion for what he enjoys, he caressed the side of my face. How perfectly he shows endearment that one cannot perceive him for a devil. How proficient he masks his cruel nature with charm was unbelievable. 'What are you trying to prove huh? That you own me physically too?" I growled, slapping his hand away. Not wanting to be touched by his disgusting hands anymore. The glare he sent in my direction for my audacity stiffed my bones, warning that I shouldn't have done it but thankfully he showed a hint of leniency and let it slide. 'No. I wanted to show you that emotions play an extremely important role." He said sternly, assertiveness freezing my soul to be locked away in his darkness forever. The atrocity of his eyes destroyed me. 'Observe, all actions were the same but it feels disgusting because of your perception." He whispered in my ears, deliberately holding the sheet. One pull away to reveal my body. I shivered when his hand held mine over the sheet, smirking at my tensed body. 'I haven't seen your true face back then. I didn't know who you were." I barely managed to speak without stuttering, pressing the sheet harder against my chest. 'Notice how emotions control your feelings towards an action?" He hummed. Leaving my hand fortunately but it was a matter of seconds when my body trembled violently when his fingers traced over the marks he imprinted on my fragile soul. 'And I cannot control mine. All of mine are visible on my face. That is why you married me, right? To enjoy my misery…" I growled, tears blurring my vision. I was about to lower my head but he gripped my hair, forcing me to maintain the unbearably intense eye contact, 'Exactly. How do you expect me to stop myself?" He growled, lips parted with burning breaths. Neither my body, nor our intercourse enticed him. What seduced him was my fear. 'I cannot believe people like you exist. How can you be so fiendish?" I asked sorrowfully. At this point, I cannot express the amount of disappointment and heartache I held. 'We all have twisted thoughts. But, the only difference is that I made them my reality and you keep them in your mind." And he gave a sick explanation to his beastly behavior. A fucking psychopath. 'A sin is not a sin unless it's committed. You can't be a murderer unless you actually kill someone. You chose it yourself. You wanted to be a devil." I corrected his words which pleased him, at least I understood. 'I have never fathomed hurting anyone- let alone to torment one like you." I growled, speaking the truth. I have never hated anyone but him. Noticing my words of innocence and misery, he ended up laughing maliciously, pulling away. Standing up straight in a dominant posture. 'Eileen, Eileen, Eileen." He laughed as if to mock my delicate emotions as they don't exist in his dangerous world. 'You and your kindness never fails to fascinate me. Guess what now?" His laugh slowly died down, replaced by a dire expression. Resting his hand in his pockets as he took a step closer. 'You are going to regret why you were generous." My heart thumped abnormally when he enunciated. Gritting my teeth, I wiped my tears. 'I won't. Who and what I am is much better than you." I mumbled, biting the inside of my cheek. Shutting my eyes to control myself but then again. What he loves the most about me, I cannot hide. 'We will see." I bet he must be smirking while speaking. Clearing his throat, he gripped my sheets, making me gasp when he pulled them, 'Anyways, come here. Let's clean you up." He commanded, requiring obedience. Not wanting to enrage him. I shivered ferociously when he lifted me from the bed and took me to the bathroom to run a hot bath for me. I remained silent, stiff like a statue the whole time when he helped me clean up. I wouldn't say his actions were gentle. The actions might sound caring but his stoic face and rough grip on my body made it hurt by the way his cold hand held it. It had no hint of compassion or adoration. ‘I understood that time- I won't be able to feel his affection ever again.' An unwanted tear rolled down my cheek, heartbroken by the sensation of his fingers trailing down my back. Or to my chest when he closed my buttons while staring intently into my eyes. 'Why are you crying?" He asked, pressing his chest against mine, taking a wet strand in his hand, stroking it before tugging it behind my ear. His soft action hurt me further, releasing another tear unwillingly. And foolishly, for a split second, I thought he had any emotion for me in his desolated heart. 'Hmm?" Humming he held my waist to help me stand with the injured foot. Pressing his blazing body over mine without parting the eyes. Sniffling, I held his shirt firmly, whispering weakly, 'You shattered me, Sebastian." I confessed, pressing my palm harder. 'I trusted you, I devoted myself to you, I gave you my everything and you broke it all in a blink." I continued, voice broken. Praying to evoke a single glint of mercy. His amusement faded, I believe my mere words might be affecting. 'You shattered me…" I repeated. His devious expression vanished, replaced by an inexplicable one beyond my ability to decode. I couldn't tell if it was compassion or not. 'Sebas-" I was about to look down but he held my chin, forcing me to stare deeply in his eyes. My grip turned rigid, lowering my orbs out of dejection when he moved closer to my lips. 'Eileen." He called me breathlessly. My heart thumped in anticipation, unable to fathom what he was going to do but the keenness was startling me. After contemplating my body in the heavy silence he took a deep breath. 'You wish I had a heart." My mind went blank at his response. Oblivious to everything, my body was unable to react when his grip tightened. He is a demon himself. Releasing a dark chuckle, biting my bottom lip roughly before pecking my lips. Breathless, seduced, ruthless eyes bore into mine. Marking that he is on a path of no return. He is cast-iron. 'Oh, you truly thought I would melt over a few tears?" He smirked, pushing me back on the bed, resting his hand in his pocket, hovering over my terrified form. 'Countless people begged me for mercy and you thought shredding two tears would have a slight effect on me?" He chuckled, making fun of my emotions. I didn't tell them to manipulate him or to find his kindness. I only expressed my emotions, my pain and he mocked it. Closing my eyes in defeat, I clutched the sheets firmly, biting my cheek to not get hurt over someone who didn't care in the first place. Swallowed hard, I glared at him, resenting him from the bottom of my soul, from every last drop, losing my breath as I growled. 'You are a monster, Sebastian Stellios." But he smirked as if it made him proud, as if he takes pride in this disgusting title. And with a glimpse of malevolent twinkle, he looked at me for a second before going to bed, leaving me all awake in this repulsive night to cry over the fate which brought me to him.