39.2- Two Small Words

I was feared throughout lands for my beastly and heartless nature- I still am. They hated me, they feared me. How dare she disturb that? Oh, she would pay dearly for it if it continued. 'You are doing what you had never done for any prey all because she had intoxicated your mind from the very start." My eyes widened for a second when he said what I never paid attention towards before. I had never put so much effort into gaining a prey before. 'She was the weakest, the most desirable one and I was ready to do whatever it takes to chain her with me." I said vaguely, humming in agreement, realizing it's not now but from the start. Even if it meant playing the role of a fake Prince Charming and tricking her to marry me. I did everything I could to have Eileen. 'Exactly, can't you see? You fell for her the moment you saw her. You are just gradually realizing it now." And my thoughts smeared when he said it. I thought he would say she is precious or anything but he went where I didn't want to. 'Don't make stupid deductions, Asshole. You think your twisted words would work on me?" I growled, glaring at him to stop his nonsense now. Enough fatuous and delusional thoughts for one day. 'Sorry, Boss. You said you won't be angry." He said quickly, putting his hand in the air for defense, taking a step back. 'Why wouldn't I be? My mood was already ruined and you enhanced it. There is nothing like this. You know how I treat her." I growled, reminding him what I have done to her, how badly I have scared her to the point she cannot raise her voice against me. I have petrified her. Etched irrecoverable dread in her soul. How can I love the person I have scared? 'The first victim you hadn't hit physically yet." He said again nervously but I slammed my hand on the table, glaring at him to stop his rambling. 'Shut up!" I hissed, not wanting to hear further. It did nothing but to increase my distress. 'I am sorry, Boss. I was just saying." He said, making an apologetic face but seemingly he had sworn to push towards the recognition I didn't want. 'Don't piss me off with your mindless predictions. I had never felt anything for her before. You hear? Nothing." I enunciated, pointing my finger in contempt, fury engraved on my face. But I don't know where he gained his courage and hit my sensitive nerve, 'And what about now?" I sent a death-glare in his direction and his breath hitched, knowing he had truly spoken enough and if he valued his life then he better leave. 'Sorry, sorry, I am leaving." Apologizing, he ran away frightened but induced thoughts I tend to neglect in my mind, fueling my disruptive thoughts. 'Tsk." Scoffing, I ran my hand in my hair, hoping to discard whatever false judgment he placed on me, focusing on my work and not paying attention to his useless words. It's nothing like this after all. After convincing my mind that, I went home. The empty room gave me an eerie sensation. Maybe I had gotten used to her presence, to her fear. Like, when I would enter the room, I would find Eileen using her phone and she would gasp when I would enter. Flinch when I would take a step closer. Looking so innocent that I want to devour her to the bone- Ah, how exquisite. But, she is not here now and I didn't know what to do. After freshening up and having dinner, It felt hollow. I was lying on the bed, arms stretched out, staring at the ceiling. Closing my eyes briefly, I wanted to call her in the morning, noon, evening and now too but I doubt she would attend my call and this stopped me. Should I? Why would she want to think about me? Staying away from me would be a paradise for her. Who am I? Her nightmare. One call shouldn't hurt. If I didn't she should have called too. She used to call me almost every night before marriage. I never called her, she called me so why would I call her- And I did it. I called her. What's wrong in calling my wife? She was away for two days for the first time after marriage. It was ringing and unexpectedly, she attended the call immediately. 'Hello?" Come back. I stilled when her voice came… excited? I couldn't utter a word. She sounded so carefree right now. Not her usual low and scared tone but it was bright, how it used to be. It sounded beautiful. Talk to me like that all the time. Like you mean the sweetness in the tone- But, do I deserve it? Of course not. My lips were parted, I just had to speak what I wanted but I couldn't. Two. Small. Words, Sebastian. Say it. 'Hello…?" She called again. Closing my eyes, I could feel my heart rate getting stronger as I pressed my palm over it. Indulging in her melodious sound. 'Sebastian?" Come back. Come back. The night is lonely without you. We used to talk for hours before marriage then why can't I speak a word now? Why is it hard to talk now? 'Hello? Is anyone there?" She asked again and I opened my eyes again, I inhaled deeply, mentally preparing myself to speak only two words. Pausing, I opened my mouth to finally free the words on the verge of my tongue. Is releasing voice that hard? How did she release hers? 'Eileen!" But, I took too much time to speak and someone called her. 'Coming!" Shouting, she cut the call but I stayed in my bed with her voice reaching me again bringing an unknown smile to my lips as I closed my eyes slowly again, smiling without knowing it. Because that is when I realized, she was not only my deepest desire but my need.