61.2- Prayer

'Six, For terrorizing you." Shutting my eyes, I continued, hands shaken by terror, mind sank into a nightmare, explicit agony was sheltering into my heart. I couldn't take it. 'Seven, For making you a prey." 'I am not a prey anymore, you just called me your wife. Why do you want me to hurt you for that?" I asked, wiping my teary cheeks, soaked with anguish on his behalf. Those were the tears of sting I was shedding in his place, he couldn't cry at his scars so I did. 'Just do it." He hissed, curling his hand in a fist, jaw clenched, back all bloody and scarred at this point. 'Eight, For killing that inn owner." 'Please, stop, I beg you…" But, I couldn't take it anymore but he had decided to blur my vision with misery, he was hurting me more. 'Nine, For shooting Sofia." My sobs mixed with his winces came, at this point, it was clear on his face that his back was aching badly yet he refused to stop. 'Ten, For not trusting you." When he said it, I paused. Did he truly… not trust me? I thought it was because he was drunk, I didn't fathom he was serious about his dubious demeanor. My heart clenched and that was the one I believe he deserved to gain so I hit him for it. But, I also noticed something else too. He mentioned shooting Sofia, but not the time where he raised his hand to hit me because he already punished himself for it before. That means someone taught him that you should be punished by physical pain for your actions. It was not the first time, he had been doing it before too… Why? How? Since when? 'Seba-" I opened my mouth to ask but he continued. 'Eleven, For forcing you." Exhaling, I wiped my tears, I fulfilled his wish, even if it meant torning my soul for that sake. 'Twelve… For everything," His voice broke, covering his mouth and shutting his eyes because he was a human in the end and that was hurting like hell, he was in extreme pain. 'Sebastian!" Gasping, I rushed to the front, holding his face, wiping the tear in the corner and sweat on his forehead, making him look into my eyes. 'I am sorry for everything. But, can you please make one last for someone else." His cracked voice came, breaths becoming sloppy. 'Who?" 'For Alphonse," He groaned, holding a glint of fire in his eyes I was unable to comprehend. His eyes burned while saying that. 'What did you do to him?" I asked hesitantly but he muttered, gritting his teeth, covering his mouth to not break. 'Don't ask. Just do it." He whispered, pushing his hairs back. Gulping, I did as he told and before I could come back and hold him, he passed out after exceeding his ability to bear pain anymore, falling unconscious by the throb taking over his body. 'Sebastian!" *** We were in the room, my eyes were on his bare back while he was lying on the bed, barely in his senses, holding the pillow, constantly growling in pain as I kept staring at his tainted back with pity and mostly anguish. He glanced at me, noticing the sorrow in my eyes, holding his hand out to me which I took instantly, holding it rigidly. 'You're so exquisite, you know?" He whispered weakly, still in pain yet curling his lips upwards slowly, tracing his thumb. While I was staring at his back, It gave me a sense of nostalgia, bringing us back to the day where I confessed for One Last Time. 'Do you remember when I confessed after our marriage for the first time? The first time you heard me?" I asked, taking his hand and resting it over my cheek to feel the warmth of his hand. "How could you choose your own lover to break?" He asked, bringing his thumb down, tracing it over my bottom lip and then dragging it down from my neck to my shoulder. 'You remember?" I smiled sheepishly, tugging my hair behind my ear. 'How can I forget? I heard you after all…" He chuckled huskily, continuing his action and tracing those fingers down to my hand, sending strangely satisfactory sensations to my core. 'I never thought hurting your own lover could be this difficult and painful…" I whispered, the gentleness on my face replaced by dejection. My gaze refused to part from his scars, from the stains I gave to his body, pricking my heart continuously. 'Neither did I…" He whispered back, astonishing me to perceive he held the same perception. His words shattered my heart more. My features hardened, clutching the sheets firmly, distressed at this statement because at a certain point, my pain began to devastate him as well and he couldn't take the agony. 'Hey, don't show compassion." He chuckled, taking my hand, exhaling at my display of dismal. 'Why…?" I frowned, pulling my hand away and resting it on his shoulder, shifting a little closer. 'Be however you want, if I wanted to force pity, I would have done it long ago. You don't have to force anything upon yourself." He murmured, trying to stop me from shredding mercy but I couldn't control my compassion, heck, I made those monstrous scars. 'Then how do you intend to let us start over?" I sighed, leading my fingers down slowly, carefully on the side. 'I don't know…" He sighed as well, closing his eyes. 'You should rest." Mumbling, I moved my hands back and rose to turn off the lights and go to sleep but he held my wrist, bringing me back on the bed to sit beside him and not leave his proximity. 'Stay… don't go anywhere." He called desperately, not leaving my wrist. He wanted me right beside him, not having a bare distance between us. 'Apply something on your back then it's painful to watch it like that." I frowned, pulling my wrist away, noticing the bruises brimming on his back, repulsing me. 'Don't. Let it sting." His resonance abruptly turned strict, refusing to apply anything other than an antiseptic. Not a pain reliever, not an ointment for fast healing, nothing at all. 'Why? It will lessen the pain, apply it, Sebastian. Please." I requested as politely as I could but he remained stubborn, not listening to me. 'I said, don't." He scoffed and was about to turn his head away but I didn't let him, resting my hand on his shoulder but he grabbed my hand, removing it. 'I don't want to heal those scars." He muttered, deeply in desolation, disheartened from something I couldn't encrypt. 'Why don't you want the medicine?" At my hopeless question, he paused for a moment. His gaze traveled far from mine out of remorse before striking back with a fiery passion mixed with woe. 'Why… you ask?" He asked after a prolonged silence, amplifying my heart rate when his grip tightened on my hand, His narrowed eyes startled me for a moment when I saw his gaze flaming, burning with an intensity of regret and woe, building a tower he couldn't bear as he proclaimed the reason. 'All medicines have stopped working, I need your prayers now."