43- Punishment

~ Sebastian ~ When Dave informed me that Eileen told her Father everything and he hired a cop for her protection I absolutely lost it. I couldn't think, I couldn't react. I was furious, I wanted to teach her a lesson she would never forget I won't deny, I wanted to do this but… I didn't mean to raise my hand. 'Stop resisting, dammit!!" Losing my mind, my grip on my body. I couldn't control myself and ended up raising my hand. I swear, It was unintentional, I was not going to hit her. I didn't lie. I didn't lie. I didn't lie. But, Asad appeared out of nowhere, grabbing my wrist to stop me, mocking as always. 'Haven't your parents taught you to respect women- especially your wife, Sebastian?" Same as always, those long pitch-black hairs and devilish raven eyes concealed my mystery so no one could predict what he would do next. 'Asad." I hissed, pulling my wrist back roughly but he simply smirked at my fury before glancing from his shoulder to Eileen who was trembling in fright. 'Are you okay, My Lady?" He asked seductively, taking the wrong impression I implied to his advantage, turning to her but she did not react, crying badly. By Asad's interruptance, I finally regained my senses and when I noticed her sobbing face, my gaze softened. Whatever was building gradually between us crushed at my one mindless action. What have I done? 'It's alright. Go to your room." He smiled reassuringly at her. She glanced at me and then back at Asad, sniffling, wiping her tears. Glaring at me with those shining tears, reflecting the disappointment I managed to induce and ran away without thinking twice. After she ran away, Asad's smile faded, replaced by a grimace, scowl, turning to me but I stood stunned. He rested his hands in his pockets and took a step closer, staring dead into my eyes. 'What the fuck you were doing, Sebastian?" He whispered but extremely infuriated. 'Is that how you treat your life partner? What is she? A victim? A prey that you did that? Do you have a tiny shred of dignity left?" He growled, disappointment clear in his voice. But, my mind was consolidated by the unwanted fact that how dare I raise my hand. Nothing else was mattering to me at the moment. 'To whom you are talking about dignity, Asad? That man auctioned it decades ago." Another snicker came which pierced an arrow through my heart when my own Brother said it. Ruben came, by looks were almost similar except the fact he was slightly skinner and had a scar on his left eye. Just looking at him hurts me. Smirking dryly at me, scanning my ashamed form, coming closer, 'I expected this from you, Sebastian. When you cannot hesitate to hurt your own brother then why would your hands tremble to hurt someone else's daughter?" And at his very first entrance, he hit where it hurts the most. My heart skipped a beat as I closed my eyes, hoping to shut his words out of my mind but he pushed me. 'You are a fucking beast, Sebastian. You can never change, you love people's misery. You are incurable." He growled, cracking my heart again but opening my eyes slowly, I bit the inside of my cheek. If it was a normal meeting, I would have taunted back, retorted but right now all I could think was how dare I raise my hand. 'Asshole. We warned you to not bring innocents into our business but you and damn lust has no control, huh? What the fuck were you doing to her?!" He yelled, taking out his fury, moving back, running his hand in his hair making comments I deserve to gain. 'Ruben, leave him for now. Go to her, she is terrified." Asad called impassively, stern features plastered on his face. He glared at me for a final time with the usual glimpse of disheartened feeling and walked away, going to see Eileen so he could soothe her. After Ruben left Asad turned to me, narrowing his eyes, 'What happened? Your hand is shaking for the first time." He told me coldly. But, my mind drowned into a negative impact, stinging my brain with her cries. They didn't affect my mind before but now, they are intoxicating me. 'Nothing." I muttered, pulling my hand back, curling it in a fist, unable to meet anyone's gaze at the moment. 'Is it regret?" He asked, curling his lips in a hollow smile, mocking me. I remained silent. 'You are looking down- For the first time." He reminded me because each time we have met, I upheld utter dominance and pride, confronting all of them with my cruelty. 'I said nothing." Muttering again, my steps retreated, going back to my study room, closing the door, locking myself there. I entered, taking off my waist coat, throwing it away, taking rapid breaths. Pacing around, I ran my hand in my hair, making them messier, almost sweating from the collected dismal. "You wanted to hear it, right? There you go. You are my exception. You are where no one is." Liar. Liar. Liar. I didn't lie, I swear. This is the only truth I had told her. My head began to throb immensely when her cries echoed in my mind, making it sting beyond the bearable point. Growling, I threw the vase on the table, shattering it to pieces, shutting my eyes, covering my ears. 'Shut up, Shut up, Shut up." I hissed, quivering when I could hear nothing but her cries growing booming, purloining my cognition to etch the realization that I had fallen into despair. 'Where am I wrong? Why would I stay when all you have done was to hurt me…?" Shutting my eyes tighter, I pressed my palm harder, pressing my teeth together, trying to breathe properly through my nostrils but it was getting hard. 'You are a monster, Sebastian Stellios." My mind numbed, gasping loudly, my head was hurting badly, her voices, her words repeating constantly, inducing a pain I thought I would never receive again. "But, I love you, Sebastian…" It was happening again. It was repeating itself. Stop it, Stop it, I don't want to experience it again. I did it again. I did what I didn't want to do again. Someone stop it… please… 'Sebastian, open the door." Asad called, knocking on the door to drag me out from my miserable screams but to no avail. 'Actually, don't. Shut yourself out from us like you always do. You don't belong among us after all. Let's go, mate." Ruben's voice followed him, taking his best friend along, leaving me alone again where my mind was chained to the abyss where no one but Eileen's voice was spreading like rapid fire. Unable to bear this anguish overflowing anymore, I took heavy deep breaths, hitting my chest to regain my posture, drinking some water. I won't make the same mistake again. I won't let it consume me again. Glancing at the left hand which I raised again, a scowl appeared on my face. Forcing my steps, I unlocked the door and came out with a growl lingering on my face. 'Oh, so you finally came out." Ruben called but ignoring him, I ran towards my room. 'Hey! Don't you dare to scare her again!" Ruben shouted, coming after me to stop me but I glared at him to stop right where he was and don't interfere. Swallowing hard, I rushed to my room, locking the door and saw Eileen wasn't present. The sound of the shower was on, I was panting, mentally preparing myself for my upcoming actions. Sitting on the bed, tapping my foot continuously on the ground, anxiously waiting for her. "I married you because I love you, I stayed because I love you, I constantly seek mercy in your eyes because I love you…" Don't stop loving me. Shutting my eyes, I pulled my hair, gritted my teeth, staring at my left hand continuously. My heart was thumping abnormally and my mind refused to cooperate. It was distressing me constantly. My stare turned into a glare, it was literally paining and for the first time, I wanted to stop those screams. For the first time, I wanted it all to stop manipulating me. For the first time. I wanted it all to stop. "Goddammit." My mind lost its composure, mentally disturbed at my deed, I couldn't think properly, infuriated at my own self. By all means I couldn't raise my hand against Eileen. She is too delicate to be hurt physically. Looking around, I searched around the room and grabbed the nearby pen. I placed it right over my trembling hand, inhaling deeply and stabbed it without a second thought. I couldn't justify myself anymore so I decided to punish myself.