68- His Voice

'Sebastian-" Eileen called, coming after me but I didn't want to hear anything anymore. I walked away from them, wiping my teary gaze with my sleeves. 'I want to be alone right now." I growled, motioning to her to stop coming after me and give me some privacy but she spoke something which pierced right through my heart 'When you are not? Until I came, you had always been alone." My eyes widened for a second, my heart skipped a beat. I knew she was right but it enhanced my fury. 'Don't talk to me, Eileen." Growling, I entered our room outrageously. 'Why not? I did nothing. And besides, for how long do you intend to choose loneliness?" She scoffed, folding her arm, pissing me off further by her demeanor. 'Eileen, stop." 'Brother away, Parents afraid, no friends, no lover. When did you ever have anyone stand beside you? Next to you?" Smirking dryly, she swore to choose words which could break my heart badly. Amplifying the anguish on my face. Holding my side, I looked away. 'No wonder you are terrible at handling emotional matters." Sighing, she was before me and I was losing my posture once again before her heartbreaking statement. Why did she always use those words that stuck in my mind forever? From- ‘How could you choose your own lover to break?' To- ‘Until I came, you had always been alone.' She always chose unbearable sentences. 'If you intend to increase my pain then leave," But, I was already infuriated and I didn't want to do anything in spur of emotions so I told her as calmly as possible to leave if she wanted to keep on with those words. 'I am only speaking the truth, Sebastian. You had always been alone. I guess that's why you love me this badly because ‘I' am the only person who stayed." My eyes narrowed in dread when she said it, inducing thoughts which never crossed my mind before. I didn't want to hear further. There were things which I deliberately avoided, I didn't want to face and she was throwing them on my face. 'Eileen-" Opening my mouth, I wanted to stop her but she came closer and pulled my shirt to make me stand extremely near her. 'Look around you, Sebastian, even now, only I am standing here. No one here to console you." Whispering, she held my shirt but I yanked her wrist, losing my mind. Curling my hands in a fist, I wanted to hit something and before my eyes was she. 'Fuck!" Growling loudly, I turned away and kicked the table furiously, causing the vase on it to break. 'And you know why?" She called again, testing my patience now. 'Because you pushed them away yourself, you were afraid to hurt the ones near your heart so you protected them from your own self." She called again, coming closer but I refrained from her, not wanting to do something to her under the label of hasty emotional actions. 'What are you trying to prove by saying all this? Yes, I did, so what?!" I yelled, glaring at to stop this nonsense. But, unexpectedly, she returned a beautiful smile, rested her hand over my back as she leaned her head against my arm. 'Then such a person shouldn't be called a monster, isn't it?" She whispered in a low, angelic voice, halting my senses right there. Never in my life have I regarded myself outside this circle and when she didn't consider me one; it felt eerie, unfamiliar, unwelcomed. 'Okay, you are a ruthless man but at work, your work requires it but how can a person like this could be a monster to the ones he loves?" She asked again, lifting her tender gaze to stare back into my flabbergasted one. My jaw was dropped, my mixed into a swirl of unwanted emotion. 'I hurt you-" I tried to reason desperately, pulling away roughly but she traced her fingers down my back, sending a strange shiver down my spine. 'Monsters don't do this to themselves either. They don't punish themselves, they don't distance themselves, I don't think you should call yourself with such harsh words-" Before she could continue further and prove that point which I understood, I covered her mouth. 'Don't." My one hand was over her mouth and the other on the side of her neck softly. Lowering my head, I rested my forehead against hers, wanting her to stop desperately, 'Don't speak further." 'When did you fall for me is not the only question you had been running away from, isn't it, Sebastian?" She was breathless, removing my hand, causing me to pant, perturbating me immensely by her assumptions. 'You love that so-called abyss because it never asked you any question, right? What, why, when, how, right?" Her voice went lower, holding my chin to make me stare back pleadingly into her compassionate orb. Moving her fingers down to my neck to over my heart, augmenting my heartbeats. 'Is that why you hate people around you and push them away because we ask questions whose answers you don't have?" Closing my eyes, I was about to hush her but she held my wrist, forcing me to stare back into her eyes forcefully, asking one of the most apprehensive questions. 'Why did you do that to Ruben?" Her harsh tone demanded an answer. The answer which I didn't want to give, the answer my lips found excruciating to pursue. 'Why, Sebastian?" Her tone softened, cupping my cheeks, making me sit on the couch as she took my one hand and kissed it. Swallowing hard, my lips parted but only hurried breaths came, 'I…" I had the answer on the edge but it was hard to release it. 'You what?" She asked again, pulling me into her embrace, kissing the top of my head, deglazing the ice which solidified my tongue. 'I… couldn't hear anyone. So I-I made Ruben scream." Responding in a broken tone, I held her with my shaky hands, biting the inside of my cheek. My heart thumped so furiously that I thought it would leap out of my chest. That sentence was as hard as when I wanted to tell Eileen to come back but couldn't. 'I just wanted to hear him, his voice."