70.2- Origin Of Screams

"I am sorry, I don't think I am ready anymore…! I don't think that I am ready to be involved in this!" Shouting, I curled my hands in a fist, trying to cover my ears again to stop this unbearable sound but Father held my arms. "What do you mean you didn't think? You know who and what we are, don't you? Why the hesitation? You are going to do this someday so why not now?" Father asked furiously. I was horrified, traumatized. Father never scolded me before, never got angry with me and he began to scare me. "Father, please…" I begged, tears streaming down my face, blurry vision but growling, Father grabbed the gun and slammed it in my hands. "Don't make me wait, mate. Don't disappoint your Father. You are my strong man, you can do this." He whispered, forcing a smile to assure me but nothing could eradicate the petrification I experienced. Sniffling, I was left with no choice but to point the gun at the guy. His bloody form looked into my eyes, 'Kill me…" He whispered. My heart skipped a beat, unstoppable tears rolled down, shattering my dreams and heart beyond repair. "I am sorry…" I whispered, pausing before pulling the trigger. "Don't apologize, dammit. Do it!" Father yelled and they stabbed his hand, making him scream out of pain, struggling to get out but the ultimate throb in his body refrained him. "Make him stop screaming, it is making my head hurt badly, Father." I cried, hands shaking violently. I couldn't see properly. I didn't want to do this. I knew I had to one day but not now. Father shouldn't have sheltered my innocence in the first place. Judging from my family, I should have become heartless. "Then shoot!" Gasping, I shot the gun, a loud sound came from it. My hand got injured, it began to bleed badly. Crying, I opened my eyes when I felt a liquid on my face. Gulping from appall, I touched my face and saw blood, looking up in dread, I saw I shot his face, dismantling his face. My eyes widened in inexplicable horror as I fell down on the ground. Covering my ears with my blood hand, the sound of the gun echoed in my ears and I screamed from the bottom of my lungs. I released the loudest scream of my life and with darkness taking over me, I fainted, unable to bear more of this monstrosity. 'Nothing was the same when I woke up after my first kill." Nothing. My heart was pumping but I was impotent to show how badly it was pounding to the point I wanted those heartbeats to stop. My breaths were low and dead. I was on my bed, lying on my stomach, staring at the floor with devoid emotions. My mind was empty, it ceased to function. I laid like a lifeless being, his screams, his blood, the sound of the gun, all of it left a deep impact on the person who never had a fight in his entire life. The door of my room opened, and my parents rushed to me quickly. Father hugged me, on the verge of crying. "Sebastian? Are you okay, son? I am sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you so far-" Before he could continue his apology, I asked in a dead tone, "Did… he die?" Swallowing hard, he nodded, kissing my hand, "Yes." "Did he stop screaming?" Tilting my head, I asked again, my resonance lost its cheeriness. He smiled, giving my hand an assuring squeeze, "He did… It has stopped, you can't hear it anymore." Pulling my hand away, I closed my eyes, holding the sheets firmly with my bandaged hand, pressing my teeth together. "Then why could I hear the sound of it? Am I screaming? Why is it so loud?" Unstable breathing, I saw his blood in darkness, I heard his screams in his darkness, It was not stopping. It was extremely ear-piercing that everything else became inaudible before it. "It's nothing, sweetheart. It would fade away. You are only frightened, rest and you will feel better in no time." Mother came, running her hand in the hair, caressing me to help me calm down. And I believed it, "Okay…" But it had no effect. Time healed nothing, it stopped nothing. All of it was the same. I felt like a part of me died when I took his life. A month passed and I was still into the abyss, in the void where I was surrounded with nothing but darkness. I didn't accept it then. I wanted it to stop. I wanted it to end. "Sebastian… my love. What did you do to my son, Albert?!" Mother yelled at Father. During this time, she stayed with me, tried everything to divert my mind but I paid attention to nothing. "I did nothing. I-I had no idea this would happen. He reacted much worse than I anticipated." Father gasped, not leaving my side as well. "Sebastian, mate, say something. Don't be like that." Father called, shaking my shoulder to drag me out from my thoughts but I didn't want to talk to anyone. "Please, baby. Speak up. Don't be like that." Mother called and finally lifted my gaze, I asked vaguely. "Can I…" Pausing, I forced the lump in my throat, I asked, "Go with you again?" I wanted to explore it further, I wanted to observe more of what I saw hoping it could lighten the darkness overwhelming me. "Why? Why do you want to go there? Would it make you feel better, Sebastian?" Ruben asked, not liking this idea of mine but I didn't know why. I wanted to. Curling, I nodded, "Mhm.." Willing to stop whatever happened to me, Father took me there and I greeted that glum dispersing in the sky again but it didn't frighten me this time. Father was hesitant while I held an unaffected look. Everyone was staggered to find me there again but the lively kid with no worries who came here before died along with the man he killed. With no expression, I followed Father, going back to where he tortured people. Concealed with soundproof walls so the voices won't go out. We were there, Father was worried about me but I saw them torturing another person. Face covered while they removed his nails. "Why isn't he screaming?" I asked, lips curling downwards, unable to hear him. His screams weren't like I heard. My ears could only hear the sonic boom of the gun, that acoustic blast emerged but not his. Tilting my heads in confusion, I couldn't apprehend what happened as if my ears deafened. "He is, Sebastian. What happened?" Father called, turning to me in appall. "It's not loud enough. I couldn't even hear him." At this sentence, all of them stopped and turned to me, not believing the boy who screamed last time said this. "Sebastian…?" "Why don't you cut his fingers?" I suggested, raising my eyebrows but not taking me seriously, Father chuckled. "You're kidding as always, right? You're such a brat, mate." He laughed, patting my back, considering it a joke but I didn't know what took over me. I grabbed a screwdriver and stabbed it in that person's hand, twisting. Now he screamed. 'There." Now I heard it and unknowingly it made me smile when I heard his voice. But, horrified at my action, Father yanked my arm back and slapped me hard before everyone. "Snap out of it, Sebastian!"