31- Voices

~ Sebastian~ Moments became days, days became weeks and before I knew it, another month passed in spur of moments, flashing quickly. Things were calming but for my own betterment, I avoided Eileen this whole month. "Yet how could you choose your own lover to break?!" You are not my lover. You are not my lover. You never were, you never will be. I don't want to entangle with this woman only to become who I never was. I cannot allow her to disrupt my functions. If she dared to become my malady, I would kill her. I won't let her ruin me. I won't be like Alphonse, Nathaniel, Sufiyan and every second person I know who devastated himself by feelings. "My terror is far greater than my love for you, Sebastian Stellios." You should fear me. That is exactly why I married you, to eat your fear for my tranquility. All this month, I tried to maintain my distance so I could gather my posture and become who I was. To take things back to how they started. I have no intentions of developing a relationship with her. I go to work early, come home late, I didn't go to the appointment with her either. I totally shut myself from her for a whole month and I bet this would only be a blessing to her. 'Everything's okay, Boss?" Dave asked after we were done with some work. 'Yeah…" I trailed off, rubbing my temples, closing my eyes to not think about it but then I realized all this month this was all I have thought about- Her. "You are also the man I fell in love with, Asshole!" 'Fuck!" Cursing, I slammed my hand down, walking back to my cabin to rest my mind and focus on work. I can't let this happen, I don't want to hear her voice. I don't. 'Boss..?" Jacob called entering the cabin but was taken aback to see me frustrated without a reason but I don't want to display my disturbance moreover to tell them it's because of a woman. 'What?" Growling, I asked angrily, taking a seat to shift my mind and not pay attention to my affliction and began to work on a file. 'Are you going to Jake's Party? You know he was going to flex his success there or should we handle it?" Jacob asked hesitantly, glancing at Dave to ask what happened but I glared at him to not seek further reason for me to take my anger out on him. 'No, I don't have time for a paltry party. Take your girlfriend and attend it in my stead. " I muttered, rolling my eyes. Using this party as an excuse to pull Jake down and remind him of his position. Yeah, he is my business rival, always bragging about his sales and success but I have two things to handle at one time or else how else am I far more superior than him? 'Okay…" He hummed and left immediately, not wanting to enrage me by stupid questions further. With a snarl, I was working on the file until Dave's voice came vaguely, 'Did you.. Have a fight with Madam, Boss?" I stopped for a second, narrowing my eyes in pure ire at him to not ask or else he will regret it. 'Sorry," Speaking immediately, he left, leaving me all alone in my thoughts. Exhaling my distress, I ignored his question, I shook my head, focusing on the work. Until my phone rang and the man I hate the most, whose face I don't want to see. Who burns my soul- Asad called. My jaw clenched, utterly infuriated because if he was calling it would be something which would ravage my mood. Taking a deep breath, I upheld my facade and picked his call, 'Salam Alaikum." He greeted me in his way which meant ‘Peace be upon you' but I sighed. 'I don't need a prayer you don't mean, Asad." I replied coldly. 'You're awfully hostile, aren't you?" He asked in a mocking tone, almost to pinch my nerves. 'I don't recall us being friends in the first place." I muttered, pinching the bridge of my nose. 'You are not included in my favored list too. Anyways, congratulations. I know I am late but that topic was beyond my interest." He snickered, testing my patience. He loves doing it. 'Hmm." I hummed, not wanting to extend this conversation further. 'I am thinking of coming with Ruben next week." He trailed off, I bet he must be smirking while speaking what I resent hearing. 'Don't. I am busy next week. I am going to a ball. I don't have time." I made up a quick excuse, not wanting him to come along with Ruben at all cost. 'Oh, You don't have time for your own brother, Sebastian? Sad." Letting out a ‘tch, tch, tch' sound, he faked compassion, 'I guess that's why he hates you." He trailed and my jaw clenched. 'Don't, Asad." I warned him not to complete his sentence or speak further than he should. 'Don't take it to your heart- If you have one. I am just doing as I was told. See you on 1st then. Bye." He said playfully and cut the call, bringing a scowl over my face, not wanting him to come with Ruben and ruin my already ruined flow of life. One ordeal was enough and I have no intentions of dealing with another. I don't want him anywhere near us, especially Eileen. Sighing, I shook my head and I don't want Ruben to think I lied so I had to go to this ball now unwillingly. 'Jacob." I called, going to his cabin. 'Yes, Boss?" 'Don't bother. I am taking Eileen to Jake's party." I told him impassively. He was taken aback but didn't question and nodded, 'Okay, Boss." Sighing, I frowned because now I have to teach Eileen how to act like an affectionate couple before the world and not do anything which could ruin my image and name. I went home. Me and Eileen were in the hall, she was patiently waiting for me to speak but her image of sobbing flashed in my mind which made my jaw clenched and hitched her breath. "D-Did I do something?" She stammered, taking a step back, holding the hem of her dress. 'You afflicted my mind. You became the first voice I have heard in a painfully long time yet held the nerves to ask what you did?!' "We are going to a ball next week and I want you to learn how to act like a proper couple." I ordered, my features refusing to twist into anything tender for her. I won't let them. I won't allow her. "D-Do we have to..?" She asked timidly, not liking the idea of acting nor did I. "Yes. Now, come here and don't be scared." Grabbing her wrist I pulled her close to me, holding her waist. "S-Sebastian… I-I can't…" She gulped, shivering when I held her staring deeply into those pairs of orbs that could never relax in my presence. Glistening with the fright I managed to induce by breaking her dreams. It was intimidation mixed with the sensation of being disheartened. Breaking someone emotionally was true. I made it a reality. Her shiver gradually stopped, gripping my shirt as I refused to look away. She looked angelic with those petrified orbs connected to mine, "You're so exquisite, you know?" I whispered, contemplating her disquiet features. Noticing what negative impacts by bare presence holds. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I pressed my index finger on her lips, moving it extremely slowly but to no avail. "It won't work no matter how hard you try," She whispered, taking my hand and slowly removing it from my lips. Pressing her index finger against mine, I could see her pure finger was untouched by mine. She was right, I can't. No matter which body part I try to smear this blood with, it won't work. "Let me go, Sebastian. You are scaring me, it will take me time to learn how to pretend." She whispered, averting her gaze, unable to keep the intensity plus can't bear mine too. Breaking the strange rhythm, I removed my hands gradually, unwillingly parting my hand from her skin. Turning my head away as well, I rested my hands in my pocket, curling them in a tight fist to contain my disappointment there. Tugging her hair behind her ear, she moved back, rushing back to the room as I stood in the enormous hall alone, dying to murder her voice becoming my malady because- If I couldn't stop her voice then how would I answer to myself?