71- All Alone

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Father yelled, slapping me hard as the voice echoed in the air, imprinting the mark on my cheek. I deserved it for what I did to my Brother. "You are a fucking monster!" Hissing, Father pushed me away, my steps stumbled that I almost fell but Mother held me. "Sebastian, why did you do that to your own brother?" Mother asked softly, holding me tightly. Sniffling, I held her, trying to hide from Father in her embrace, "I just wanted to hear him." My muffled, croaked voice came. "That's it. I am so done with this screaming and hearing drama!" Father yelled again, frightening me at his fury. My heart shattered when he considered my condition a drama. "I am not lying, Father. I swear." I whispered, not leaving Mother, tears smeared over my eyes, rendering me unable to see properly. "I don't want you anywhere near your brother again. You hear me?" Father ordered dominantly, pointing his finger at me. Gasping, I hid my face in Mother's arms. "Albert, you can't do that!" She argued, standing by my side. "You don't meddle, Melissa. I won't take more of this monstrosity in my home. For fuck's sake, this is my home, not a battlefield." He snarled, scaring both of us. But, not caring about our fear, he enunciated before leaving, "I will do something about you." After he left, Mother made me sit on the couch, holding me. She was panting from tension and apprehension, pushing my hair behind, cupping my cheek. "Mother, Is there something wrong with me?" I asked, wiping my tears, holding her dress as my last hope. Whispering, she pulled me into a hug, kissing my head, "You're going to be alright, my love." "I am sorry, I.. just wanted to hear him. I didn't mean to… hurt him." Impotent to bear it anymore, I ended up sobbing. I never meant to hurt my Brother, I had no idea what took over me but it was too late. "I know. I know my son can't hurt anyone. I told your Father, you too, none of you listened to me." She was right. She was right all this time. I should have listened to her. Pulling away, I pleaded, "Can I see Ruben?" "Please?" She was hesitant, not sure if it was a good idea but I literally begged her to let me catch a glimpse of the condition I put my Brother in for once. "Make sure your Father won't know about it." Sighing, she nodded. Powerless before love, she allowed me as I went to see him. There, my brother laid with his face covered in bandages, barely in his senses. Traumatized, my whole body shivered violently. I paused before I could caress him and ask for forgiveness for my irredeemable mistake. "Ruben…? Are you alright?" I asked tentatively, shaking to think what pain he must be in because of me. "Get away!! Don't touch me!!" Yelling, he slapped my hands away, moving away from me. My eyes widened, immobilizing when the last thing I wanted to hear released from his lips. Tears blurred my vision, my mind went blank when he showed my true face to me. "You Monster!!" He yelled again, stiffening my bones. Curling my hands in a fist, I pulled them, lowering my head as I ended up sobbing. It took one scream to ravage my teenage and upcoming years. 'I am sorry. I am so sorry…" My weak whisper came, repeating my apology constantly but it couldn't bring back the vision I stole. I began to resent myself. Everything was slipping out of my grasp, I lost it all. "What the hell are you doing here?! I told you not to come here!" Father yelled. My breaths stuck in my throat as Father dragged me out from his room, taking me back to the main hall. His grip was tight, it hurt badly. The moment he let go of me, I fell on the ground. "Stop hurting him, Albert! This won't heal or help Ruben. Stop taking your frustration on him!" Mother came, helping me to stand, hugging me. Whenever I thought about old times, all I could remember was her teary eyes, holding me, praying nonstop for me. "Your love has spoiled him! Look what it did to him!" He yelled again. They were fighting because of me. Our happiness fell apart because of me. I became the villain of their hope. "You have lost it. He made a mistake. We will get him treated. He just needs help. Don't give up on our son." She kept holding faith in me. It never felt cold or empty as long as she held me. I placed my faith in her assurance. I would be treated, I would be alright. Mother said it would pass. She said I would be okay. She said there is nothing wrong with me. None of it happened. Fights between them increased, Father refused to let me sleep in their room so Mother stayed with me. She stayed up for hours until bangs formed under her eyes to ensure I slept well. "Am I a monster, Mother?" I asked with my head on her lap. She was humming a lullaby I couldn't hear but I rested my weight in my arms. "What? You are not. You are my star." She whispered, running her hand in my hair to soothe me. "Star…?" "You know I had you after years of prayers and treatment, right? You entered my life when I gave up on hope, that is why you are my star." Smiling, she kissed my head. "And Father?" "He is just angry. Everything would be okay. This shall pass. In fact, You don't have to do this dirty work too. You could do something else." She started her series of reassurance to eradicate my darkness, my abyss but it had consumed me. Rupturing her barely left hopes, I asked, unintentionally piercing her heart, "And… what if I want to?" Deep down she knew I am a ruthless piece of flesh but she is a mother after all. Why would she accept it? Tears brimmed in her tears, falling from her eyes to my cheek. Distressed by her constant crying, I turned to her, wiping her tears. I hated her tears. They hurt like nothing else in this world. "Why do you always end up crying? Did I break your heart?" I asked sorrowfully, wiping her tears but she never told me why. Never shared her thoughts, only eased them by her tears yet I could see that clearly in her eyes. She couldn't hide it. She was a terrible actor. I guess that was why I got attracted to Eileen. Bad actor, emotional, fragile yet the strongest support I could ever gain. 'My mother did not stand with me today because I stopped her long ago, Eileen. That is why I isolated myself from my Mother. She shed countless tears for me. I didn't want her to cry for me anymore." Later, I came to know about something terrible. The moment I began to detest Asad with my core. After what happened, I locked myself in my room. I shut myself out from everyone- especially Father and Ruben. They looked at me in fear. "What is happening?" I asked timidly when I came to get my lunch and lock myself in the room again. "Some important guests have come… to take Sir Ruben." I froze, "What?" Not believing what I heard, I rushed to confirm what I heard was true or not and when I stopped at his studies, I heard him talking. "I heard you are sending your son Asad to a boarding school. I want my son Ruben to go with yours. I basically want him to befriend Ruben." "Why?" And Father told him everything that was supposed to be our family, our dark truths and he made my devilish nature notorious by telling them also. Everyone would know what a fiend I am. He smeared his own son's name.