61- Prayer

'It was hard for me to do it, more than your imagination. But, when I scarred his beautiful body with my own hands, he told me something that night which I could never forget..." We were staring at each other, trying to words behind the silence we both were impotent to break, dying to release the words on the edge of our tongue but couldn't. It was a harsh time. It felt like the chains we created by our inner thoughts had imprisoned us, he couldn't hold my hand and I was afraid if I held my hand out, he might not take it. I was afraid to embrace him. Narrowing my eyes, I let go of his hand slowly, lowering my gaze, hugging my sides. If he couldn't look into my eyes, then I shouldn't as well. My glances would only provoke him, hurt him to realize he cannot look back and I didn't want to hurt him further than I was already going to do. We remained like this for a few seconds and thankful before the air could convert into awkwardness, Asad and Ruben came after growing impatient, coming to us. 'Are you guys done? If you have changed your mood then let us know." Ruben sighed. I noticed, all this time, Asad didn't speak much, normally he taunts a lot but he was dead serious this time. 'No, we're coming. Let's go, Eileen." Sebastian cleared his throat, holding his hand out to me. I took his hand, my heart skipped a beat when his large hands held mine, an unwanted shiver went down my spine but I upheld my posture. 'Are you sure you can do it?" Asad asked vaguely, noticing the sternness on my face. We all were aware of the fact that I was a terrible actor yet I held a strong face, I kept myself together. 'I will." I nodded firmly, giving his hand a tight squeeze, noticing Sebastian let out an empty but sincere smile. 'Let's go." Sebastian called, it was ordered to be kept as a secret, no one should know what was going to happen or how he gained those scars. They shall become a mystery. We reached a seemingly normal warehouse but there was a hidden basement there which led to a hideous dungeon where dried blood had coated the walls, dust had taken shelter there, filled with different weapons, frightening me. 'What… is this place?" I asked, holding Sebastian's arm, trembling in fright when I saw this place. That was why I didn't want to know anything about his work. There were some things which if left unanswered- the better. 'It's one of your husband's torture cells. You might not want to know how many souls were imprisoned here." Ruben replied, waving his hand in the air to clear the dust, checking it out. 'I don't want to know either." I muttered, tightening my grip on Sebastian, not lifting my head. 'Are you okay? Are you scared?" Sebastian asked softly, holding my chin. He was worried about the perception I might hold of him. 'I am fine, I am not scared." I whispered, biting the inside of my cheek which caused Sebastian to chuckle a little and lean down to my ears. 'You are terrible at lying, you know?" He smirked teasingly but I lowered my head more, holding him rigidly. 'Geez, when was the last time you used it?" Ruben asked as I noticed, none of them affected by the gloom atmosphere, they had zero effect. 'There. Here you go. The rest things are beyond your caliber. You can't use anything but this here." Asad called coldly, handing me a stockwhip and I paused. How can I hit him with the instrument used for animals? In fact, why use it on any creature? I looked at Sebastian then at Asad, not sure where I should take it or not. Is this truly necessary? Then again, what's the point of asking this? It was for his solace. He wanted this, this was his redemption. I must do this. 'Are you sure, Sebastian? Do you truly want to do this? What will I tell Father?" Ruben asked nonchalantly, coming to us as well. Sighing, Sebastian bore his intense eyes into mine, giving a sensation of cloud-nine, making me lose my identity at our link as he enunciated. 'Tell him, A goddess punished me for my deeds." I blushed, averting my gaze, taking the whip, holding it with my trembling hands with a dried throat. 'Do you understand the power of love now, Sebastian?" Ruben smirked, giving his shoulder a pat before maintaining a fair distance. 'I would kill you if any of you get a word out about it." Sebastian threatened, glaring at them to not spread words and ruin his image or name. 'Leave you two, I want to do this alone." I demanded. They didn't question and walked out, leaving us alone. I took a deep breath when Sebastian took his shirt off and bent on his knees. I stood before him, he was on his knees, waiting to be punished for his actions, for everything that had happened till now. 'Sebastian." Calling him with the most loving my voice could go, I cupped his cheek, making him shut his eyes, breath hitched. 'Before we continue, I just want you to know that I love you and I am going to do this for your solace, not because I want to hold a grudge against you. I am doing this out of my love for you. For you." I whispered, caressing his beard, moving my hand upward to his hair, pushing them back, smiling affectionately at him. 'You love hurting me beautifully, don't you?" He chuckled, looking down, grabbing my wrist and pulling my hand away. 'I guess I do." I laughed a little and pulled away, moving to the back. My smile converting into seriousness, my hands were shaking. I had many questions, limitless hesitations but his words imprisoned me to follow his request. 'Scarred my body like how I have scarred your soul, Eileen." 'Don't worry. We will go in chronological order. I will let you know the reason for each hit so you can remember." We both inhaled and I was ready. 'One, for tricking you into marrying me." Oh, how can I forget how he married me under the fake label of a charming prince. How he married me for the sake of gaining my misery. I no longer cursed the day we met. I hit him. He groaned, resting his hand on the ground, I gasped, 'Oh my God, was it hard? I am so sorry, Sebastian." I panicked, worried about the bruise forming on his skin. Ignoring my worry, he continued, 'Two, for lying to you about my true Identity." For not telling me about his true nature, that the man I met at the altar was a fake image. My lips were shaking, my body was curled into repugnance, strictly against damaging him for what occurred in the past. 'Three, For emotionally ruining you." I could barely remember times where we both had smiled purely. At the start, I had felt terror but that was the point- that time had passed. We could still make it work. 'Four, For killing Rick when he had no faults." He growled, shutting his eyes to subdue the pain, traces of blood began to form on his back, my heart was ripped. I paused, releasing a disastrous smile. 'You-You know, that time, you s-smirked.… That was the smirk I was going to remember for the rest of my life- The smirk of a devil. I-I could never forget it…" My broken voice came, sniffling, covering my mouth when a drop of blood rolled down his back. 'Devil, huh?" He laughed a little, groaning in his pain, breathless, 'Tell me, am I still a devil for you?" He asked vaguely, the traces of anguish on his face were clear. 'No, not for me… You are not my devil, you are my deepest, darkest, desire." I shook my head in denial instantly, confessing his perception in my heart. 'Darkest huh?" He hummed, curling his lips upwards. Unable to continue, I rested my hand on his neck, resting my head over his head from behind, breaking into a sob. 'That's why, stop… please. That's enough." I cried, kissing the top of his head, holding his shoulders. The sound of his pain was hurting me badly, I was never this strong to give one a punishment- especially the one I love. 'Continue, Eileen…" He growled, not looking up. 'It's alright, I have forgiven you, Sebastian, let's just not continue anymore." I whispered, refusing to leave him or continue, sobbing with tears rolling down. 'You have but I haven't. Continue, dammit." He growled, glaring at me to go back, pushing me back from his shoulder, not allowing me to reach him. Sniffling, I wiped my tears, forcing my weak legs to stand, 'Five, For breaking your heart." I hit him again to which he gasped, I went gentle as I could yet it hit him badly, causing all his other scars to sting as well. 'I can't do this anymore." I cried and grew weary of my whining, he yelled, 'You have to!"