44- Crestfallen

'You guys changed the flow of our relationship entirely. " I didn't know who he was or what happened, all in my mind was to run away and not appear before Sebastian. At least not before he regains his posture and realizes what he ended up doing. Running to my room, I sat on the bed, covering my mouth, shutting my eyes to not cry anymore or shed a tear for the man who didn't deserve it. He had ravaged my life, I didn't want to stay with him anymore, things felt scattered. He is crazy and if he could do this today then he could definitely be much worse later too. He stole any reason for me to hold expectations. "Eileen…" I gasped when the door opened and Ruben came, it was my first meeting with him and the worst. He resembled Sebastian in real life more than the pictures. "Hey, hey, it's alright. No one is going to hurt you…" He whispered softly. He might look like Sebastian but he was thankfully not like him. Coming closer, he tried to help me calm down. "S-Sebastian?" I asked, wiping my eyes to remove tears, holding the hem of my dress, shaking in dread to think what he would have done to me if they hadn't come to save me. "He won't anymore." He whispered, coming closer. A kind smile came on his lips, completing his sentence, "Because he is afraid." "What?" Astonished at his response, I narrowed my eyes, sniffling to control myself and pay attention to his unforeseen words, "Afraid?" Nodding, he stood before me, "He was shaking in fear because he dared to raise his hand against you." He whispered, telling me what I couldn't fathom to imagine. "Why.. would he?" I mumbled, lowering my gaze, holding my arm, nibbling on my bottom lips, refusing to believe. He is a cluster of heartlessness, me and my feelings are meaningless to him. Ruben chuckled, taking a step closer, bending on one knee before me enunciating what I had stopped thinking about long ago. "Because my brother had fallen in love, Silly girl." My features hardened, turning my head away, hearing this only clenched my heart, "Don't be ridiculous." If he loved me then why didn't he listen to me? Why didn't my voice reach him when I was sobbing badly? I couldn't believe in those empty words. Everything felt like a lie at this point. "That is not true. He shot my friend. He had killed people, he had terrified me, he is a monster. He could never love anyone." I growled. By all means, Sebastian and loving someone didn't fit in a sentence. That man cannot love anyone. "That's what I believed too. I thought he could never change but come with me." He sighed, getting up, motioning me to go after him. I was hesitant but followed him, tensed what he wanted to show me as I had no intentions of facing Sebastian at the moment. He took me near the railing where Sebastian and that guy Asad were standing. "Look at his face and hand. And you know what? I had never seen him like this." He whispered and I noticed it too. He was looking down, his left hand was shaking badly but- Why didn't it tremble when he raised it? Why didn't he tremble when he hurt me? 'This mere sight doesn't prove anything. He should have controlled himself in the first place." I muttered, hugging my sides, not wanting to even look at him. Seeing him was breaking my heart. "You have intoxicated him. Of all things, my brother was not the one who gave into feelings. The thought of losing you had blinded him. You tried to leave him, didn't you?" He said, moving back, motioning to me to come after him but his justification cannot compensate for the damage he dealt. I won't give him a chance until he begs me on his knees for one. "I don't… want him in my life anymore…" Exhaling, I moved back to my room, drinking some water to control my anguish and not think about him. "I could understand. He is a troublesome fellow, impossible to control but believe me, Mother was right. You are his exception." He smiled, trying to make me understand softly, hoping I could help his Brother but I didn't want to. Heck, why would I? 'He said it too- He lied. He is a liar, he could never change." I whispered, closing my eyes, gritting my teeth as I sat down. 'Eileen, please. Sebastian needs you, believe me, has changed so much. The man I saw today was not the Sebastian the world knows. You stole his identity. You did what none of us could." He whispered desperately, voice breaking, pleading for his brother. "Please just stop. I am already disturbed. I don't want anything related to him anymore. Stop it, Ruben." I growled, gesturing to him to stop this nonsense before I lost my mind because I couldn't do anything now. He had shattered the faith I placed. How can I love him when my love for him is my embarrassment? "Eileen, please. You are the only person who could help him. He needs you, believe me, he didn't do it intentionally. I give my words he won't but please, help Sebastian." Ruben pleaded, intertwining his fingers together, requesting me to spare some cognition to his condition. "So what?! I don't care! I have no intention of scaring myself to help a helpless man!" I yelled, losing my mind, I was already unsettled by what nightmare he brought on my home, he had traumatized me enough, I didn't want to hear anything further. "I beg you, Eileen, please help him. He hadn't realized it yet but you are the love of his life." His voice broke, begging but my Father begged his Brother too to spare mercy on his daughter. What did he do? Broke her. Leaning closer to Ruben's face, I glared dead into his eyes, "If Sebastian said it himself, I wouldn't even believe him then too." I declared, astonishing him. If he said he loves me, I would call it a lie. 'I can't trust him anymore. I am sorry, I can't help you. I don't want a second with him. So please just stop it." Whispering, I didn't want him to continue his pointless pleading anymore. I had no intentions of developing a bond with an incurable man. His eyes narrowed in anguish, realizing the fright Sebastian had induced in me was irrecoverable and nothing could save what could exist between us anymore. "I see… if that's your choice." He breathed out, closing his eyes in defeat, taking a step back, knowing it's futile to talk about it further. "I was called to help you. If liberation is what you desire, okay then. I'll help you." His tone changed gradually to a firm and dominant one, not lifting his head. 'However, do let me know if you ever change your mind." He said sadly and left me alone in my miserable thoughts. After hearing Ruben's unfathomable announcement and pleading I went to take a shower to divert my mind from the nettling, stealing my ability to react. I was standing under the shower, praying this water could wash away my sorrows but instead the cold droplets only hit my skin to enhance my misery. He could never love anyone… I didn't want anything to exist between us. He had disappointed me too many times.