46- Reason To Stay

"Notice and you will find all the emotions he couldn't explain gleaming in those eyes. It was always there but I couldn't see it." The night fell upon the sky, I couldn't get his look out of my mind. What was wrong if I made him weak? Why is accepting anything so hard for him? I went to our room and sat on my side of the bed while Sebastian was lying with his face covered and placing everyone's words in my mind, I called him. 'Um.. Sebastian." My hesitant voice came, back then he was infuriated and wasn't listening but I know he would listen now.. 'What?" He hummed, removing his hand to glance at me. 'Can I call at home and let my parents know I am okay? I promise I will make them listen to me too. Please don't cut me off from them, I only have them." I asked desperately, hoping he would listen and won't steal my family away from me at least. 'I only have three people, Mama, Papa, Sofia, please don't steal them from me. I won't do anything again, I promise. I didn't mean this to happen." I pleaded, scooting closer and tugging on his sleeves innocently, praying he wouldn't say no. He glanced at my face for a few seconds and sighed, grabbing his phone from the nightstand, unlocked it and gave it to me because I forgot mine at my home, 'There you go." Curling my lips upwards, I mumbled a ‘thanks' and when I saw his wallpaper my eyes widened. He had my picture taken during our honeymoon at Miroir D'eau when I was smiling. 'You have my picture.. As your wallpaper?" I asked, thinking I didn't see it right, taking a closer look. 'You saw it just now? It has been my wallpaper since I took it." He shrugged nonchalantly, not surprised at all. "This is the first time I am holding your phone." I mumbled, wanting to open his gallery and see my pictures because that one was aesthetic. His camera was immaculate. I called home, hearing my parent's cries and at the moment I was only irritated with them because- 'None of it would have happened IF ANY OF YOU HAD LISTENED TO ME!" I yelled over the phone, glaring at Sebastian as well who pretended he didn't hear me. I tried to convince my parents but they didn't listen and shut me down from Sebastian and when I tried to tell Sebastian, Mama ruined everything by interrupting me and he couldn't hear me either. 'No- No, I am staying and it's my choice- So what?!" They were trying to make me listen but I had no intention of listening to them. Their main concern was that Sebastian is Black Death, the biggest criminal of England. 'Fine, he will do it. Yeah, yeah he will- But, you won't do anything without letting me know beforehand- I am fine." I sighed, pushing my hairs behind, noticing how Sebastian was not removing his eyes from my face. 'Sebastian can never hit me." I enunciated, staring back dead into his eyes and he didn't like it and was about to turn his hand away but I held his injured hand. 'Fine, I told you already, he will do it. Just don't create an issue out of it anymore. I am okay and nothing else should matter to you guys." Exhaling, it took me a good hour to convince them but I finally did it. And was arguing for an hour, my mood was smeared and snarling under my breath, I turned to Sebastian who held the same mysterious look he did on that start of the call. 'I can hit you." He spoke up, taking his phone back. 'Try it." I challenged, putting his injured hand in the air, displaying what happened when he tried to hurt me physically. 'Aren't you disheartened now?" He asked, pulling his hand down again. 'How can I when you have already punished yourself?" I sighed, curling my lips downwards. Apart from his disgusted reaction in the afternoon, I couldn't find a reason to stick on what happened. And not to mention his Brother's rambling. 'Aren't you going to ask what Ruben told me?" I asked, climbing under the covers as well. 'I already know. Father called him to help you," He sighed, lying down to gain some rest and not think about anything else. 'And will you let it?" I asked, lying down, holding my pillow and looking up at him. 'I don't know." He replied honestly, turning his head to me. 'Besides, Ruben is not my concern, Asad is." He whispered, taking a strand of my hair and tugging it behind my ear. 'Why him?" I asked, furrowing my brows as I was not fond of him in the slightest. He was irritating me by his amusement. Considering all of it an enjoyment. 'Because I don't want his shadow anywhere near you." He murmured, closing his eyes but all it did was to enhance my bewilderment. 'Is it because Ruben wanted to assign him as my lawyer?" I asked again. 'No." 'Then?" Opening his one eye, he caressed my cheek with his bandaged hand and whispered softly, 'He would take you away too." 'Too? Did you have another girlfriend who cheated on you with him?" My confusion increased immensely now. I had no idea what he was talking about or the in-depth reason for him to resent Asad. 'No. Nothing. Leave it." He sighed, waving his hand to shrug this off and not forcing it out, I hummed, closing my eyes to gain some sleep after the hectic events of my life. But, I got to know about things I never fathomed I would. It finally ended after a rollercoaster of emotions, his rage, his emotions, his punishment and in the end… We were back to where we started… It all came back to square one. "I raised this hand, right? There you go. I punished it." 'That ‘you' weakened me?" "You are my need. I need you next to me, with me, I need you in my life." His words were repeating in my mind, stirring it. We can't stay like this forever and to stop this loop of anguish, one of us had to take a step and extend our hand. We would remain here for eternity if we didn't try. 'Eileen… are you awake?" Dragging me out from my thoughts, Sebastian called me. 'Hmm…" Humming, I opened my eyes and saw Sebastian. We both curled down, holding the duvet, facing each other while laid down and I don't think we ever talked laying down like this and it felt strangely satisfactory. 'I lied earlier." He told me, our voices were whisper-like due to the darkness and sleepy atmosphere, staring at each other in this darkness. 'I know…" I curled my lips upwards, not keeping things in my heart anymore. I wanted to know. 'Why is it so hard for you to speak the truth?"I asked softly, moving my hand and taking his hand in mind, intertwining our fingers. 'Why were you disgusted?" I asked tenderly, not sounding dejected to induce guilt. His features twisted into a disquiet one, holding my hand firmly. 'Because it's true, Eileen." He whispered desperately. "I didn't want to accept it but-" Refusing to let go of my hand as he sat up slowly, looking down. 'You have weakened me."