152

"Why are you here?" Alex asked when he and Michelle were in his office. he wasn't used to her being calm, and it made him uneasy. he couldn't even remember the last time she looked so calm and not agitated, ready to pester him about every single little thing that she could find. Or perhaps yell at him for the decision he made in his life that she hadn't been involved in in years. "You look well," Michelle replied, and Alex sighed deeply, wanting her to go straight to the point or perhaps revert to her original self. "I just wanted to see how you were. It's been a while since I last saw you or heard your voice, " She said, and Alex felt like she was playing a victim card. If she was okay with leaving a little child all alone for a few years, why was she concerned about how he was fending now? "If that's the only reason you are here, then I'm fine," Alex answered coldly, and Michelle fisted her hand beside her. She realised now that her relationship with Alex had already crumbled. She didn't even know how to engage in a normal conversation with him like, say, Caroline did with Charlie... "Alex... I know this might be late, and I'm not sure if you want to hear it, but... I'm sorry. " "Sorry? for what exactly? " Alex asked, and Michelle couldn't utter a single word... she could only stare at him, and then her head hung low in shame. "Everything," She muttered, and Alex let out a deep breath... "I don't know what your goal is by doing this, but I don't want to do this right now. I have a lot of work to get back to, so please can you leave, " Alex said in a low, calm voice so he wouldn't lose his cool. Michelle stood there staring at him with regret in her eyes even though he had asked her to leave... she slowly started to walk towards him, and Alex immediately took a step away from her and turned away... he let out a deep breath and drew in a sharp breath... "Don't you think it's too late for this..." Alex said and turned to look back at Michelle, who looked sad, and even though Alex was mad, he hated to see such a look on her face. It angered him too much because he recognised that look. The look she always had after every fight with his father... the look that she had when he asked if she was fine even though he was a child but somehow understood what was happening... "I regret everything." Michelle blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes... "I shouldn't have left you all alone; I regret it every single day... after what happened that day, you didn't seem fazed by it, and I was scared. Scare of the trauma it might have caused you. I didn't want you to be affected so much by it, and I thought that that was the way I could fix you..." "Fix me," Alex said and scoffed, more like break him... because if she thought what she did fix him, then she was wrong, it ruined him almost completely... he couldn't even tell her he had panic attacks that made him not trust people and have friends. How would she react if she knew he had it since he was in high school? "Yes... I wanted to fix you... I wanted to make you a better version of yourself. I didn't want that one incident to destroy your life. " Michelle tried her best to explain her actions from her point of view... maybe that way he would understand her better, but Alex couldn't understand her no matter what. Caroline was his aunt, and he knew how much she loved Charles. She would never do a thing like that to her son, but what made his mother different? What made her different was the fact that she saw his father in him and hated him for that... she didn't want him to turn out like his father, and Alex, of all people, knew he was nothing like his father. Thought they might look alike. That was where it ended. he was nothing like his parents, and he was thankful for that... "or perhaps you didn't want me to end up like that," He said in a cold voice, and Michelle froze and swallowed. "No, Alex, that isn't true... you are nothing like your father. I know that now. I was mistaken the whole time and only paranoid... I wasn't thinking straight... I should have never compared you to him, and I regret it every single day of my life... I should have never done that, I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..." She said over and over again, and Alex couldn't believe that it was his mother who was talking... his mother, who compared every little thing he did to his father. When he was a child, he had to change the way he ate because his mother thought it looked similar to his father... he had to change the way he walked, the way he slept... the way he sat down... every little thing, his mother wanted to change it... She wanted to change him completely, and soon he started to have anxiety when he didn't do what she wanted. She would abandon him once again, and when she finally did, he broke down... She had no idea what he had to go through on his own... "Do you know I can't go into that room till now... I still had vivid images in my head when I tried to do... it's so clear and terrifying... my hands covered completely in blood... her cold body... the paleness of her skin... the way she laid there lifeless..." Alex said, and Michelle covered her mouth with her hand as tears escaped her eyes... she couldn't believe what she was hearing... she thought he was okay and had recovered completely, but she had thought wrong. he had hidden all this from her, and she made him do it... she had driven her son from her. "I think about it every single day of my life, and sometimes I can't breathe when I think about It. It feels like my heart is being squeezed and..." Alex trailed off and let out a deep breath... "If you thought you fixed me by leaving me there all by myself, then you are wrong... you didn't fix Mom... You left me broken..." __________________________ __________________________